“Loft” is the height of a pillow. For side sleepers it matters more than the filling, the brand or the price, because it decides whether your head stays level with your spine. Many buyers say they keep returning pillows because they don’t know what height they need. This guide gives you a simple way to find out.
The three pillow loft ranges
The Sleep Foundation groups pillows by height (Sleep Foundation, “How Many Pillows Should You Sleep With?”):
| Loft | Height |
|---|---|
| Low | Less than 3 inches |
| Medium | 3 to 5 inches |
| High | More than 5 inches |
It adds that side sleepers generally prefer a high-loft pillow, to fill the space between the head and the shoulders. That is a starting point, not a rule: the right height depends on your body and your mattress.
Step 1: Measure your shoulder
Tempur-Pedic publishes a simple method for choosing between the three sizes of its TEMPUR-Neck pillow: place a ruler perpendicular to your neck and measure the distance from the base of the neck to the outside edge of the shoulder (Tempur-Pedic, checked November 10, 2026). That distance is roughly the gap your pillow has to fill when you lie on your side.
- Narrow shoulders or a small frame: you will usually need less height. Several buyers complain that “every neck pillow I buy is too high.”
- Broad shoulders: you will usually need more height. Another buyer wrote: “I have broad shoulders and sleep on my side and I just cant find thr right pillow.”
Step 2: Adjust for your mattress
This is our rule of thumb, based on how the parts fit together: on a soft mattress, your shoulder sinks deeper, so the gap gets smaller and a slightly lower pillow may work better. On a firm mattress, the shoulder stays higher and you may need more loft. The Sleep Foundation notes that your pillow works together with your sleeping position and mattress to shape your sleep posture.
Step 3: Adjust for body weight and pillow softness
Soft pillows compress under the head. The Sleep Foundation notes that sleepers in higher weight ranges may need more loft, and that people over 230 pounds may find a soft pillow compresses too deeply. A pillow that measures 5 inches in the store can end up much lower once your head is on it.
A real example of sizing by shoulder
Tempur-Pedic’s TEMPUR-Neck comes in three heights (all approximate, per the manufacturer): Small 3.5”, Medium 4” and Large 4.75”. If your measurement falls between two sizes, the manufacturer says to choose the smaller one. It also lists the pillow’s feel as firm and states that pillows may not be returned, which is worth knowing before you buy.
What to do if you can’t measure the pillow before buying
Many pillows, including the Melara Max, do not publish an exact loft. In that case:
- Check the return policy first: how many days, who pays return shipping, and whether pillows are excluded.
- Prefer adjustable-fill pillows (shredded foam you can remove) if you are unsure of your height.
- If you choose a fixed shape such as a butterfly pillow, test it in your normal sleeping position during the first nights, and take a photo from behind to check that your head is level.
Quick checklist
- Side sleeper with broad shoulders on a firm mattress: start from high loft.
- Side sleeper with a small frame on a soft mattress: start from medium loft.
- You switch between side and back: look for a contour or adjustable pillow, and check the height in both positions. See how to use a contour pillow.
- Still waking up sore after fixing loft and position: talk to a doctor or physical therapist. See also how to use a pillow as a side sleeper.
Also read our full review:
Melara Max Pillow Review 2026: Who This Butterfly Pillow Fits (and Who It Doesn't)
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